cynessie:

if i can’t find the next page button on your theme in 0.5 seconds i’m leaving

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

yasslana:

I’m going to hell omg

Wake up early. Drink coffee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up. Do well, live well and dress really well. Do what you love, love what you do. It is time to start living.
- Thank you for the reminder. Needed to read this. (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

kingcheddarxvii:

I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

radcanine:

| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
| if you read this you’re gay 
|________ _ ___|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/   づ”

thisgirlgames:

"Why are you so upset? It’s just a video ga-"

image

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it